I'm cool with Buddhism and Taoism because they're religions without gods and without hells. Fortunately I have no desire to be a Buddhist. I do, however, consider myself to be a Taoist, just an inactive one.
I'm cool with Deism because it preserves mystery and explains the mysteries. It's the belief in an intelligent designer who doesn't want to hang out with stupid people.
I'm cool with Calvinism and Reformed Christianity. These traditions believe that only the elect - who have been predestined since before the creation of the world - shall be saved. So God doesn't send people to hell for wrong belief. He just sends people to hell because he's a dick. And if it turns out that God exists and he's a dick, what are you going to do?
I'm cool with the Jehovah's Witnesses because they believe that only 144,000 people get to go to heaven and everybody else will just cease to exist. Right now, there are 7.9 million active Jehovah's Witnesses, including Prince, so even if I converted, I have less than a 2 percent chance of making the cut. And with my luck I'd place #144,002. Right after Prince.
I'm cool with Mormons because they don't believe in hell. They do believe in "outer darkness" which is reserved for apostatized Mormons to whom the truth was revealed to such a degree that to deny the truth of the Mormon church would be to deny the existence of the sun. I do have a bit of risk exposure here because in 1991, when I lived in Seattle, a voice in my head told me to join the Mormon Church. But that only happened exactly once, and in Seattle in 1991 the sun came out exactly twice. (Mormons are also cool because they have guns and food. Always good to know a bunch of people with guns and food. In case modern society collapses or you feel like shooting tuna.)
I'm cool with Universalism. It's the belief found in certain Christian and Islamic sects that everyone get's saved. That sounds like something a loving, mysterious, all-powerful God would make happen. And don't call a Hitler foul on Universalism. If a deeply compassionate, all-powerful God exists, his redemptive love can kick Hitler's evil's ass.
Hi Greg. You are welcome to share my tuna sandwich and bullets anytime.
ReplyDeleteI like your Hitler comment of Love kicking one's arse. It can ya know!
I should also share with you that In the Mormon Church we also believe there is progression AFTER death. And those who are never enlightened by the Gospel, or were deceived by the ignorant or wicked will have another chance to hear the truth upon death. I think that includes just about everyone. Furthermore, we do not believe we will just RIP-ing after death. We believe there is much work to be done, and with work comes growth and understanding. To me that's an additional Mulligan on top of the previously stated ones. What can I say? God knows his children, and wants them all back if they want back, but only if they want back - work is involved, at least in the work of accepting something really hard to believe. So you still gotta make the shot, though you do get multiple, though not infinite attempts (Mulligans yes, freebies, no).
Mary - Two of the threads in my list of cool religions are (1) the opportunity for progression (and the possibility of regression) beyond this life and (2) never being beyond hope. Also, I don't think one can judge a religion based on the quality of its followers, but if you could, Mormons would come out on top. I've always been treated so effing great by my fellow Utahns. Pretty sure any of my neighbors would let me shoot a can of their tuna.
DeleteJehovah's Witnesses:
ReplyDelete144,000 go to heaven - check!
Everyone else ceases to exist - "insert annoying WRONG buzzer sound here"
A great crowd that no one is able to number live forever as perfect humans on earth - check!
Those not going to heaven or living on earth cease to exist - check!
Conclusion: Good news - there's room for you and Prince on earth.
Carla, thanks a million for the clarification! And now I'm even more cool with Jehovah's Witnessism!
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